Writing Your Own Vows

I’m a big fan of personalized wedding vows.  Whether you want to get your guests laughing or grabbing for tissues, penning your promises will truly personalize your wedding.

Quick Tips On Writing Your Own Vows


Give yourself enough time

This is a big deal, don’t wait until the last minute.  You'll be much too nervous, excited, and rattled to give them the time and thought they deserve.  I highly recommend preparing your vows at least one month out.  Write what you love about your partner, key memories that define your relationship and why they’re important, with particular focus on a few experiences and memories that identify your relationship.


Come up with a few promises

They're called vows for a reason, so the promises are the most important part.  Include promises that are broad in scope, such as "I promise to always support you," as well as very specific to the two of you, like "I promise to say I love you" every night before bed.


Refine your tone and be yourself

Your vows can be clever and light, but they should acknowledge the seriousness of the commitment you’re about to make.  It’s okay to throw in a humorous comment – “I promise to love you, adore you, and let you watch Scandal” – but don’t make the whole thing a joke.


Research, research and more research!

Borrow freely from poetry, love stories, and religious and spiritual texts – even from romantic movies.  Jot down words and phrases that capture your feelings.  Widely recognized works ring true for a reason.  Also examine traditional religious vows – your own, if you practice a certain faith but others as well to see what strikes a chord with you.  You can incorporate them into the original words you write, or at least use them as a jumping-off points.

To collaborate or not to collaborate

I recommend creating your vows separately then email them to me (separately!) so I have them beautifully printed up and ready for you on your big day.  This way, you don't have to remember to bring them or find a place to put them before we get to them in the ceremony.  The unveiling of your beautiful words to each other during the ceremony makes for a quite an emotional moment. 


Practice, practice, practice!

Its not necessary to memorize your vows.  You can prepare and email them to me and I’ll print them up and have them ready for you on your big day.  Its a good idea however, to practice reading them out loud and look up while you read so you can actually look at your partner as you’re saying your vows.  See example here.


The guests must hear you!

Its absolutely important that your guests can hear your vows!  If they can’t, its like watching a good movie without sound!  I can't say this enough, your vows are the most important part of your ceremony and its the whole point of everyone being there.

Some folks make a big deal about having a microphone in their images.  Silly!  Its either a mike stand, a hand mike or a lapel mike but either way, its imperative your guests are able to hear you.  Check out my Ceremony Portfolio to see how the microphone looks in images and you’ll find that its not a big deal.


Need help writing your personalized vows?  Give me a call or email, it would be my honor to walk you through this process.